I went to the doctor’s today for a routine visit and it just happened to be the day of my book launch. I feel sorry for him, because other than my husband, he was the only other “in real life” person I had interacted with that day. I couldn’t contain my excitement and I had to share this milestone event with him. I blurted out that it was my book’s birthday. He looked at me with surprise and congratulated me and we got on with blood pressure cuffs and prescription renewals.
As my appointment was coming to a close he said “You have a lot of energy don’t you?”
“Well, yes, but what do you mean?” I responded.
“You are always reinventing yourself and doing new things.” he said.
“I guess I am.”
I reflected on this short conversation later in the day. His words were a double-edged sword. On one hand, most people would agree that it is good to do new things, to challenge yourself, and to forge onward. On the other, it is also the kind of thing you say about poorly behaved children, “Oh my, they have a lot of energy, don’t they?”
I either have a lot of energy, a short attention span, or possibly a bit of both. When I see things that I want to experience, I just leap and try them out. Sometimes things go well and sometimes they don’t. I have failed at a few things and succeeded at a few too, but I can definitely say I experienced them!
There is probably a more reasonable way to try new things, a way that doesn’t make me look like a whirling dervish. I could work in only one field and let my hobbies play the newness role. Would that make me appear more stable? Or maybe I could try lots of new things but not tell anyone? That certainly would have prevented me from failing in front of an audience a few times. I’m just not wired that way. When I see a new path, I'm running down it - all knees and elbows - just like a little kid, and I'm shouting the whole way “hey look at this” and “come on, let’s see what’s over here!”
At 46, I am probably not going to change who I am and I don’t think I want to. It probably isn’t endearing at all ages and stages to be running amok and making a mess, but when I am 90 I hope someone still says to me “You have a lot of energy, don’t you?”